"Diskusi Adzan"

Pembahasan pagi ini terasa berat.
Padahal hanya dimulai dengan hal-hal ringan.
"Adzan". Siapa? Bagaimana bisa? Alasannya apa?
Satu hal ini terasa ringan dibahas, awalnya, intermezo pembuka diskusi selanjutnya tentang sekarang dan masa depan.
Tapi akhirnya, things get more complicated. Sesak. Satu topik ini kemudian berubah seperti ketukan. Posisi. Status. Keadaan. Alasan. Ahhh.. Masalah!

Future.
What am I doing?
Masihkah waktu bisa disalahkan?
Masihkah keadaan bisa disalahkan?
Masihkah bisa hanya tetap menunggu dan pasrah?
Atau haruskah berhenti untuk berharap terlalu banyak?
Sungguh, butuh petunjuk. Sekedar penenang tidak cukup ampuh untuk mengobati pagi ini. Petunjukmu dan petunjuk-Nya. Itu kebutuhanku saat ini.

Dear darling, tidak ada yang bisa membantu kita kecuali kita sendiri.
Kekuatan hati dan keteguhan untuk menghadapi apa yang telah diatur-Nya di depan, hanya itu yang bisa kuharap. Kuterima setiap garis yang dituliskan-Nya untuk kehidupan kita selanjutnya. Kamu adalah tanggungjawabku, penuh. Adzan untukmu dan setiap langkah perubahan dalam hidupmu adalah pasrahku dan takdirmu, takdir kita. Kamu tidak akan pernah lepas berjauhan sedikitpun dari garisku. Sesuai atau tidak dengan harapan keajaibanku, kamu akan tetap bahagia. Itu janjiku. Kesedihanku sedikit pun tidak akan menganggumu. Percaya bahwa semua bisa kita lakukan. Bahagia dan cukup, seperti keinginannya.

Dear our half soul, ada lah selalu untuk kami. Be our miracle.

Wake Up

This is not a "wake up" from tight sleep, but maybe a wake up from wishes and nonsense expecation. I should get real! This might not going to be real.. We are not living in a wonder world, no director to direct the story to end as in fairy tales. This is real world, they are wicked and mean. To stay alive you should survive and help yourself to stand on the same stance. You can not rely on other. Maybe there is life build by love but do not expect too much or too high. Or let's just say.. why don't we just be grateful for what has He sent to you? Because maybe, that is the best afterall..

- quickie morning disturbia -

the 20th, the eighth

different!
it is a different month!
I expected too much. I should know things way have changed. I should have known this, I mean, I should have been ready for today. don't think too much. don't expect too much. what have I thought? what have I expected? hasn't life have teached a lot to me? things will never be straight, obstacles are everywhere. dreams are there for you to boost your spirit. nahhh, don't you dare ruining my dreams! my miracle is coming! I'm expecting it, still. just that on it's way to you, it won't always be beautiful. sometimes it will makes you laughing, smiling, crying, wondering and even making you insane. Ohh dear, don't give me that part. I'm in, I'm still believing that it's coming. Though today ended up sadly. truly sad. I guess all I need is to be stronger, and I am. stronger and more patient by the day. believe in my faith, if God has set it up for me, then it will be mine, kun fayakuun.

Night there..

Thank God I Found This Back

For no reason I was crazy of thinking what to do when I have some free time, which I believe I would have a lot in near future. I don't mean that I will be sort of jobless or a staff with no job but I mean, I could do some better and useful thing for me, instead of just doing routine descriptions at office. Xixi.. or perhaps to me is, I just need a media to share my thoughts and feelings when I need it. The unspoken one. Haha.. too heavy, really!

Gotta go! still at office and should be home before maghrib.

Talk later!